don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
