i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
