Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
