she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
