How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
