Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
