just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
