I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
