My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
