So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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