She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
