This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
