No awkward lesbian experiences without me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize