How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
