My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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