She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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