You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
