i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
