come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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