She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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