are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
