Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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