i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
