I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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