So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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