HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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