Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
