Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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