Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
