a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
