bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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