Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
