I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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