She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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