I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize