i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
