Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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