from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
