And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
