I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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