Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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