i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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