I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
