fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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