Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
