you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
