3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize