i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
