She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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