Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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