she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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