Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
