wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
