I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
