Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
