I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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