Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
