I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
