Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
