So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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