Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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