grandma shit on top of the toilet
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
