but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
