handjob tips. give me some.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
