So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
