remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
