I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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