My nipple is on Facebook.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
