Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
